What I have in common with Beccy Cole

(Apart from stunning good looks and singing ability).

2012 seems to be the "year of coming out" for some reason. I'm not exactly sure why that's so, but I'm happy to run with it.

So far, we've seen the likes of Magda Szubanski, Queen Latifah,  and Anderson Cooper come out, and last night I watched as Beccy Cole came out on the ABCs Australian Story.

It was a wonderful program to watch - raw and honest and funny. I suspect much like Beccy herself.

One of the most common questions I see asked in comments threads about any news story that has anything to do with being gay or lesbian is why is there a need to come out at all. It's often followed by a loaded statement, such as "I don't feel the need to declare myself a male heterosexual".

Well, of course you don't. Everybody already just assumes you're straight.

Coming out is not what I really wanted to talk about in this post though.

Most of us have a kind of "aha" moment - the moment of realisation that we can put a name to our feelings. Some of us, like me, have a series of "aha" moments, which build into the Big Moment of Acceptance.

One of those moments came as a result of the BBC show "Playing the Field". It was while watching that show that Beccy says her "aha" moment came.

It was because of that show that I had one of my moments that lead to me accepting myself for who I am.

When that show was airing here in Australia, I was playing for a soccer team called The Blues - same as the show - and so my team mates and I would dissect each episode at training and before and after games. It was funny to watch a show about a team with the same name as us, and pretty cool too. We tried to match up characters with our team mates, with often hilarious results.

It was during one such discussion while watching a match with some parents of my younger team mates that I came close to outing myself. Close, but not quite.

One parent mentioned their frustration that the show was perpetuating a stereotype that dykes played soccer. I listened for awhile, and then said "I can guarantee you that every women's team in our competition has at least one lesbian on the team."

Stopped the conversation dead did that comment.

One of the mums then asked "Every team?" I just looked at her and smiled, and said "Every team."

It's funny looking back now, because I wonder if they actually worked out that I was talking about myself. When I think about my team at the time, process of elimination should have probably brought them back to me.

Nothing changed though with the way I was treated if they did put two-and-two together, and when I did eventually "come out" when I found myself a wonderful partner (who for some reason is still sticking by me), my team mates and their parents and partners were wonderfully accepting.

But helping me on my gay self-discovery wasn't the only thing that show did for me. It actually gave me the inspiration I needed to start writing again. I have two half-finished YA manuscripts to prove it. Both sound ideas, but terribly flawed in their current condition. Both ideas that I will hopefully pursue in the future.

So to those who want to know why we feel the need to come out, I guess it comes down to power. 

The problem lies with those "others" who would choose to define us by our sexuality. We "come out" to claim it for ourselves, before someone else does it for us. We do it to show we're proud of who we are, despite this "thing" that we're told is a flaw in our make up.

Being anything other than straight can still be confronting for some people - and for those of us in that minority, we take a huge risk in coming out, so it's not for the faint hearted. It takes courage and confidence.

We risk losing family, friends and jobs. And for someone like Beccy Cole, she risks losing fans, and she also risks a public (and sometimes private) backlash.

But to Beccy Cole, and anyone else coming out, wanting to come out, or wondering if they should, I have this advice:

We are who we are. Those who judge you on one aspect of your self are not worth having in your life.

And from my perspective as a writer, the people who stop reading this blog because they find out I'm gay are not the people I want as fans.

Being gay is not a huge thing in my life, unless others choose to judge me on it. But then, that's their problem, not mine.

Oh, and just one last thing Beccy - I think you'll discover a whole new group of fans after your "coming out". We're a pretty accepting bunch, and we love to celebrate and support our own.

Harviestoun Brewery Old Engine Oil

It's been perfect weather up here on the Ridge for getting stuck into a few dark ales - cold, windy and rainy.

So, welcome to the first winter Sunday Sesh, brought to you by Harviestoun Brewery's Old Engine Oil Porter. 

Something I drained out of the car earlier

Well, this certainly looks like engine oil, but it does have some carbonation, hence the short, creamy head. Tastes a little of burnt caramel, and sweet like a good porter should. There's a hint of chocolate, but there's a most interesting aftertaste - vegemite. I guess that's because vegemite is a yeast-based product, but it was funny being able to taste the stuff I used to eat by the bucket-load for breakfast when I was a kid.

Anything that tastes like an Aussie staple is alright in my book. I really like this beer, but would maybe stop at two or three. It's quite heavy to drink, as in thickish compared to summery lagers, so fills you up quite quickly.

A side note on this, as I mentioned in an earlier post, the Porters were named after the transportation workers (porters) who enjoyed this type of beer in 18th century London. Apparently, they used to make a meal out the beers. And I can see why, as these types of ales fill you up fast.   

A great beer to kick off the winter Sunday Sesh's.

A couple of things caught my eye this week.

The first was this news about swing bowling in cricket.

Apparently some scientists discovered that it's not moisture in the air that causes swing.

I think those scientists haven't been to a test match in Brisbane. When the humidity's high at the Gabba, that red ball is practically moving 90 degrees as can be seen by the very first ball of the 2006 first test delivered by Steve Harmison.

One commenter on this video said that maybe it was a tactic by England - to get the ball to Freddy Flintoff as soon as possible. It's a shame that tactic didn't quite work. We won that series in a white-wash.

The other thing that caught my eye was this mash-up from youtube. It's a very clever look at the goal celebrations in football (that's the round ball game), and adding in some Hollywood-style FX.

Some of the world's best players are known just as much for their celebrations as the goals they score. So I'll leave you with this little piece of brilliance to finish of the Sesh.

My favourite is the accordion playing 'keeper.

Next week, I'm trying out Monteiths Black Beer, a drop from our cousins across the ditch. The last time I had a Kiwi beer, I wasn't impressed. I have had a Monteiths before when I holidayed in Queenstown and it wasn't too bad. I'm looking forward to this one, since it promises lots of caramelly, chocolatey, nutty, and coffee goodness.


Until next Sunday's Sesh,
Cheers!