An offer almost too good to refuse

This week's Sunday Sesh brought to you by Montheith's Black Beer.

As you can see, I'm trying out a new format this week. Let me know what you think in the comments section below.

Also, I should put a language and content warning on this one for those of you sensitive to words containing asterisks.

The Review

We all know the rivalry and the brotherhood we have with our cousins across the ditch. It's always been a love/hate relationship. We love them for giving us Russell Crowe (most of the time), Keith Urban, Rebecca Gibney and lesbian icon, Lucy Lawless. We hate them for taking the Bledisloe and World Cups.

We forgive them for beating us in the second test in Tasmania last year, if only because they hardly ever get close to us, and we also have a soft spot for Dan Vettori, Richard Hadlee and the Crowe brothers (the latter tearing us up in the 1980s).

I'm happy to report that they've given me something to crow about with Monteith's Black Beer.

It smells sweet and fresh in the bottle, and pours like sars. It tastes immedediately of coffee and caramel, but gives a slight aftertaste of burnt toffee. I have a mouth full of sweet teeth, so just writing that makes my mouth water.

It's another of those beers that isn't overly gassy, so it tingles your tongue. I like how you don't feel like you're drinking a mouthful of air as well as the beer.

Although not quite as sweet as Engine Oil and a little drier, this would make a great winter session beer because it's not as filling as the UK brew I tried last week.

At $3.60 a bottle ($52.99 a carton), this is a mid-shelfer.

The Post

I've been wanting to do a post on the shit that comes into my email box for ages but most of it's been relatively boring. Things like:

• offers for replica Rolexes (as opposed to those nasty fake ones)
• Gambling offers ('Free $300 credit when you JOIN NOW!')
• Free viagra (I read it as "free vagina once" and almost clicked through)
• College f*ck books ('Two hot college girls want to sleep with you this weekend.' Such a pity I'm always busy - with my Wife!)
• Fifty Shades of Grey alert from Amazon. Oh wait, that was a legitimate one. (And literary fiction? Seriously, Amazon?)

But one that landed in my inbox this week looked pretty legit. It was from facebook with the subject 'Re:'. Now anyone who knows me, knows I just can't go past an email with the subject 're:'. I mean, 're:' what? It could be anything, right?

So I took a look.

(The email in italics, and my comments underneath).

BABE... i guess your not getting any of my email huh? ive been tryign to email u so many times but this dam laptop is such a piece of garbage and keeps freezing.. anyways how u been? In case u dont know who this is its ME TORI.. we used to chat a bit on facebook and then I think u deleted me :(

First things first - I live in Australia. The only Tori's we have here are imported. I have never, ever in my 36 years, known a Tori.

Oh, but I've been good. Thanks for asking. And I hate to be pedantic but you know me - I'm a writer so spelling's kinda important. It's 'trying' not 'tryign'.


anyways guess what... I got 2 things to tell u..  1) im single now.. yup me and my bf broke up about 3 months ago... and 2) guess where im moving?
RIGHT EFFING NEAR U

Oh see, now that's really unlucky, because I'll be moving soon to a small town far, far ,far away. Sorry about your break-up though. That's sad, right? (By the way, there's the reason for your content warning right there - I hope no-one's offended by Tori's use of 'effing', especially since she YELLED it).


I remember when we chatted u told me u thought i was cute and u wanted to chill so now we finally can HAHA! ...maybe even help me move my shit in...

I don't drive so you'll have to move your own shit in. Sorry.

And I tell so many people they're cute, I've lost track. You'll have to remind me who you are.


ok so more info about me.. well im 23.. virgo.. love the outdoors and love to socialize, go out for drinks, restaurants, movies etc.. travel.. i have a lil kitty named BOO and i luv her to death... uhhh oh im a super horny gurl too but every gurl is they just wont admit it. so ilove watching p0rn and all that..

You should have mentioned your kitty earlier. I totally would have clicked through right then. I also love how you evaded my filter by using 'p0rn' instead of 'porn'. That show's you're smart. I like smart women.

 
i hope u remmeber me and still wanna chill and arent married yet lol..

Does it matter if I am if I tell you I'm not?

OH YA also..

i need to find a job when i get there.. do u have any hookups or know anybody hiring? id LOVE to work in a bar or osmehting like that...really anythgin cause my current job is fun and all..

and technically i CUD keep doign it but i want a change.. i currently work from home and well thats cool but i need ot be out meeting people.. oh wait. i dont think i ever actually told u what i did? hmm shud i......????

Wow, you really don't ask for much, Tori. And there's that spelling thing again. You seem to have trouble with where the 'n' and 'g' goes in 'ing' words.
But yeh, why don't you tell me what you do.

ok WELLLL... and dont get all weirded out on me.. i work on a webcam chat community site and i get paid to chat with people

A webcam chat? Like skype? Cool. I like skype.


and get naked HHAHA...

Oh, riiight. THAT type of webcam.


anyways i hope u dont look down on that and NO THATS NOT WHY IM CONTACTING U RELAX URSELF lol... i actually need help once i move and i remembered u live there so im reaching out....like i said before this computer is a complete piece of CRAP and freezes NON STOP..

I'm so happy you're only contacting me because you want my help, and not because you want my business.

I do think you should get your laptop fixed though, otherwise your webcam chats could end up looking like they were filmed in a nightclub with strobe lights, all jumpy and pixelated.

 

ANYWAYS.. heres the deal....every month (my boss) gives each of us 3 VIP codes to give out to whoever we want.. so with this code u can lgoin to watch me at work for free and dont have to pay like everyone else...

I love freebies :) Where do I sign?

i only get 3 a month and she gets pissed if more than 3 people use them so DONT SHARE IT MISTER...

Oh no problem. I don't like sharing anyway. Plus, it's Ms, but whatever.

 

 i figured u cud always email me back instead but my email account doesnt even let me login half the time.. so the bets palce ot chat me is my chat room...

Freakin' email. It sucks when you can't log in. I'm glad you can still log in to your webcam chat account though. Such a relief.

Freakin' email Sucks when you can't send any. Just like this one. Must have gotten its little self through before it wigged out on you, huh? Lucky me.

 

anyways ive rambled on and on now and ur probably soooo annnoyed with me so ill stop now.. im gonna go start work..

k babe im out for now... chat ya soon..

kisses xoxo

Wow, I think I've got a good one here. What do you think?

On the up side, at least her english is readable, even with the bad spelling.

One question though, who wants the free codes?

Harviestoun Brewery Old Engine Oil

It's been perfect weather up here on the Ridge for getting stuck into a few dark ales - cold, windy and rainy.

So, welcome to the first winter Sunday Sesh, brought to you by Harviestoun Brewery's Old Engine Oil Porter. 

Something I drained out of the car earlier

Well, this certainly looks like engine oil, but it does have some carbonation, hence the short, creamy head. Tastes a little of burnt caramel, and sweet like a good porter should. There's a hint of chocolate, but there's a most interesting aftertaste - vegemite. I guess that's because vegemite is a yeast-based product, but it was funny being able to taste the stuff I used to eat by the bucket-load for breakfast when I was a kid.

Anything that tastes like an Aussie staple is alright in my book. I really like this beer, but would maybe stop at two or three. It's quite heavy to drink, as in thickish compared to summery lagers, so fills you up quite quickly.

A side note on this, as I mentioned in an earlier post, the Porters were named after the transportation workers (porters) who enjoyed this type of beer in 18th century London. Apparently, they used to make a meal out the beers. And I can see why, as these types of ales fill you up fast.   

A great beer to kick off the winter Sunday Sesh's.

A couple of things caught my eye this week.

The first was this news about swing bowling in cricket.

Apparently some scientists discovered that it's not moisture in the air that causes swing.

I think those scientists haven't been to a test match in Brisbane. When the humidity's high at the Gabba, that red ball is practically moving 90 degrees as can be seen by the very first ball of the 2006 first test delivered by Steve Harmison.

One commenter on this video said that maybe it was a tactic by England - to get the ball to Freddy Flintoff as soon as possible. It's a shame that tactic didn't quite work. We won that series in a white-wash.

The other thing that caught my eye was this mash-up from youtube. It's a very clever look at the goal celebrations in football (that's the round ball game), and adding in some Hollywood-style FX.

Some of the world's best players are known just as much for their celebrations as the goals they score. So I'll leave you with this little piece of brilliance to finish of the Sesh.

My favourite is the accordion playing 'keeper.

Next week, I'm trying out Monteiths Black Beer, a drop from our cousins across the ditch. The last time I had a Kiwi beer, I wasn't impressed. I have had a Monteiths before when I holidayed in Queenstown and it wasn't too bad. I'm looking forward to this one, since it promises lots of caramelly, chocolatey, nutty, and coffee goodness.


Until next Sunday's Sesh,
Cheers!

Sunday Sesh #17 - Five of the Best

So unfortunately, this is my second Sunday Sesh with no beer, since I am bogged down getting ready for Santa's arrival and a road-trip home. I will, however, do a double-beer Sunday Sesh next weekend, so keep an eye out for that one.

Last week I promised you something special, and I hope you agree that this one is exactly that.

Tomorrow is Boxing Day and marks the first day of the Boxing Day test in Melbourne against the Indians. It's no secret that Boxing Day is my favourite day of the year - closely followed by Christmas and then my birthday. Then there's End of Financial Year Day (for the accountants out there), but I digress.

Since as I write this, no cricket has yet been played, I thought I'd bring you some crickety goodness by rehashing some of my favourite classic catches. My top five in fact. These videos are all thanks to youtube (what did we ever do without it?).

So, counting down from...

Number 5

Paul Collingwood shows off his amazing reach against the Aussies in 2005 to dismiss Matt "The Bat" Hayden.

Collingwood was a great fieldsman, and this rates as one of his best.


Number 4

You can't have a classic catches reel without including one of our best ever gully fieldsman, Mike Hussey. He's pulled off some unbelievable catches and saves back there, but this one rates as one of his best. Reflex catches look pretty awesome, but judging a catch going over your head is deceptively hard. As usual, Hussey makes it look easy - but he does do it one-handed, just for kicks.


Number 3

This next one from Dinesh Kartick of India, to dismiss Graham Smith of South Africa. Smith can't believe his bad luck. As you'll hear the commentator say, Kartick is one of those frustrating players who can produce moments of brilliance out of his back-side, but drops the simplest of catches under no pressure. Again, catching a ball behind you isn't easy, but he makes it look like a piece of cake.


Number 2

We're travelling back in time to 1999 at the MCG for this one.

Mark Waugh - need I say more? Mark Waugh goes down as one of our best fieldsman of all time. He produced some brilliant catches in slip, but this one at short cover defies belief. The hand-eye co-ordination required to make a catch like this stick could only be pulled off by a soccer goalkeeper, which Junior was before he chose cricket.

Also, watch the way Shane Warne moves his field around. Not one player remains unchanged - this catch is equally down to Warne getting into the head of the batsman - in this case, Nick Knight of England.


Number 1

Paul "Fatty" Vautin, football legend, and hero to backyard cricketers everywhere, thanks to this screamer taken in the Allan Border Testimonial match in 1993. This is a bit of pure Queensland genius. Tim Horan, caught Vautin, bowled Langer.

Why does this rate as my number one, above the "real" cricket catches and against some that are arguably much better? Simply because this is the thing us backyard cricketers do every summer, without cameras and without the crowds. We're legends in our own minds and families, and catches like these in backyards, parks and cul de sacs all over Australia go down into family folk lore and legend, getting better and better with each retelling.

Incidentally, stick around after they replay the catch to hear Fatty's comments.

One thing before I wrap up - what ever happened to these testimonial matches? I think a charity match for the McGrath foundation or something similar each year, maybe to kick off the summer or to wrap it up would be brilliant. I love seeing all sorts of sports men and women have a go at cricket. It's a great equaliser, and nothing draws people from around the neighbourhood like the screams of "Howzat!" and the thump of a piece of wood on a tennis ball covered in electrical tape on one side.

What do you think? Any catches I've missed? And what do you think about bringing back testimonials or charity matches?

Finally, Merry Christmas everyone, and until next Sunday's Sesh,
Cheers!

Sunday Sesh #14 - Great Northern Lager

This Sunday's Sesh brought to you by Great Northern Lager, brewed by CUB.

It's also brought to you by a hot tip from my cousin Tiff.

Great Northern Lager

The thing about a clear bottle is that you have an immediate expectation that the beer inside it's going to be quite light, and that's about right with this one. It's crisp and refreshing and went down well while watching the cricket. I normally prefer something heavier, but this one surprised me.

It's quite thin, though not watery, so I could easily have a couple of these (and I just might since I bought a six-pack). At 1.1 standard drinks, I think this may be my new pick for "away" BBQ's. And it would definitely be one I'd be happy to share with a few mates. Cheap enough too considering my taste for more expensive boutique beers.
After a huge response to my last post (I had two months' worth of visitors to this site in the space of 24hrs), thanks to a big rant, I've decided to take it down a notch this weekend. By the way, thanks to everyone who shared the post and commented. I'm happy for you to share anything on here you think is good, or crap for that matter. That is, afterall, why I blog.


Summer has well and truly started. The First Test between the Aussies and Kiwis was a cracker - I found the ABC online broadcast and listened to it while I was at work for the first two days - and today I was finally able to sit down and watch it on the telly with a few beverages.

I'm a bit disappointed that it's all over in under five days, since I planned today and tomorrow around watching the cricket (ie doing nothing except watching and having a few beers).

However, I'm very happy to see the young bowlers doing well. Our future is certainly looking bright if we can get these boys to maintain some consistency. We'll never find another combination like McGrath/Warne, but we now have a couple of young quicks who we'll be able to start building a strong attack around. Nathan Lyon is also a find in the spin department. I think he's the first young spinner we've had in the side that hasn't been hailed as the new Warney. He has his own style and he's shown he's a great thinker.

Pattinson scoring the man-of-the-match was well-deserved I thought, since he built his attack well after a jittery start. I thought he had some good change-ups and proved that bowling to a plan no matter what's happening with the batsmen produces results.

The Kiwis on the other hand were a bit disappointing. They did well to make it to 295 in the first innings, but they should have cleaned us up for just over 300 which should have left them in for a good finish. I'm glad we got stuck into them early on Day Four, but gees, they could've put up a bit of a fight at least. They have to stop leaving the heroics to Dan Vettori.

I'm looking forward to seeing what they can come up with in Hobart. I think the conditions will suit them more than the conditions at the Gabba did. I'll also be looking forward to who the Aussie selectors pick for that Test, considering neither Hughes nor Warner fired. I think Hughes is sailing very close to the wind at the moment and he may be in a bit of trouble if Warner gets going.

The other thing I was impressed by was Clarke's captaincy during the match. He made some great fielding decisions, produced a great captain's knock with the bat, and made some great bowling changes. I still think he's living a bit in Ricky Ponting's shadow, and I think once Punter retires we'll see the best of Clarke.

I've never been a fan of Clarke, since we really do like our captains to be stoic and a little bit cranky even, and Clarke really doesn't fit that mould. But I think with the youngsters coming through now, we need a different type of captain. I think having the top job has added a different dimension to his game, and I think we're yet to see his best.

That's it for another Sunday Sesh. I'm off to hook into this Great Northern six-pack in preparation for going to Carols by Candlelight tonight with Wifey (and watch Wifey mows the lawn).

Until next Sunday's Sesh,
Cheers!

Sunday Sesh #2 - Bitburger Premium

Today we're travelling to Germany, the country that gives you 1,500 choices of beer, and a standard drink size of a litre. No wonder they have places called Assmanhausen (House of the "Ace" man), Titting and the Volkhof (pronounced with an "F") River - I dare you to keep a straight face saying those out loud.

Today's German selection is a brew called "Bitburger Premium". It smells just like XXXX out of the bottle - no fancy "floral notes", just beer. Very little froth on pouring, and looks like it's been sitting on the bar for too long. It is quite smooth, but does taste watered-down - kinda like when you have ice in your drink, and it melts, leaving you with something that looks like your drink, but tastes like your mum's put tea in the scotch bottle.

It may look like I've left it sitting for an hour, but this is freshly poured.

Apart from that, it's quite easy to drink, and went well with my steak sandwich. I'm not a huge fan of it, but it's light and smooth with lots of bubbles. I prefer something heavier. At $13.99 for a 6-pack, I'd go a XXXX instead.

Before I go on, I must confess to a little bit of an easy way out with my beer-drinking to get a bit of a head start. Two weeks ago when I went to Dan Murphy's, my wife pointed out a boxed set for Father's Day, containing 10 different beers - one Aussie made and the rest imports. I figured how can you go wrong with 10 beers in one box. Afterall, you only need one beer to taste test, and that would get me 10 weeks ahead, so I could be a little more choosey inbetween with my local beers. Well, I took a couple of those beers to a friends place the next day to console myself after losing the soccer semi-final, and forgot to write down what I thought of them.

And I think I may have consumed the best of them - without reviewing, I drank Sapporo, Oettinger and Lowenbrau. From my hazy memory, they were all quite good, but I couldn't tell you with any clarity what they actually tasted like. I also had the Chang last week after a heavy day at work, and only got half-way through it. Not entirely sure why - maybe I thought I wanted a beer but needed a much stiffer drink instead. It's not like me to not finish a beer even if it tastes bad (though I do make an exception for VB), so either the Chang was crap, or my taste-buds were. Might have to try it again, just to make sure.

Now that I have that little confession out of the way, it's on with the show.

I didn't want to talk about the same stuff as last weekend, but I can't go past Mike Hussey and Shaun Marsh hammering the Sri Lankans. Marsh scored a cracker 141 and Hussey, always good for some runs, chimed in with a handy 142. I've said it before and I'll say it again, things are looking good for the coming summer.

From the funny files, and where else, but Britain, comes the story of a man who blew himself up with his home-made vodka still. I always stayed away from vodka because it could pack a punch, and leaving you wandering around in your underwear dazed and confused is almost a given. But I always thought that just came with drinking it - obviously there's risk in making it as well. Trust the Russians to come up with a spirit that's just as dangerous to make as it is to drink. And trust the British to stuff it up spectacularly.

Heard around the ridges is a rumour that Big Brother will be making a comeback on channel Nine. I enjoyed the first couple of series, when Big Brother was just watching the contestants, rather than sticking his nose into their business. I think they should go back to the original format, make sure they have real people with real shit to deal with, a couple of crazies you know are going to cause controversy and let them at it. Oh, but also include Friday night games - I totally enjoyed watching grown men riding kid-size tricycles around a miniature race-track to get immunity.

On the home front, I'm in the market for a new phone - though truth be told, there is still some negotiating to do with the wife. But in preparation for when I finally get the go ahead, I'm trying to decide on (a) which network is going to get my hard-earned each month, and (b) which smart phone I'm going to play with. I've come up with a short-list of phone brands - Apple, Samsung and HTC - and will be having a closer look at them all over the next few weeks. Hopefully, by the time I've decided on one, wifey will have given in to my constant whinging, and let me get one.

Finally, and most importantly, we have a real live Sunday Sesh happening at Casa del Sel this afternoon. It's currently a little windy and cool, but I'm hoping the prospect of so many beer-drinkers in one place at the same time will convice Spring to come back.

As always, I value your opinions and feedback. If you have any suggestions on brews to review or you have the low-down on something you want covered in the Sunday Sesh, let me know.

til next Sunday's Sesh,

Cheers!

Sunday Sesh #1 - Wicked Elf Witbier

Welcome to the first official Sunday Sesh, which also happens to be Father's Day. My beer of choice for today is Wicked Elf Witbier a Belgian-style beer, said to have been brewed by monks in the Middle Ages. It's brewed by the Little Brewing Company at Port Macquarie in NSW.

What they say about their beer:
"This beer is made using 50/50 wheat and barley malts and is ‘bottle conditioned’.
A light ale, with a lovely complexity of malt, citrus and spicy flavours, balanced with a refreshing bitterness from the hops and curacao."

What I say:
The smell out of the bottle is light and citrusy, and it's a cloudy pale colour in the glass. Pours well with a nice head that sticks around, and gets on your lips like a milk-mustache. Very easy to drink especially on a warm day. Does leave a slightly bitter aftertaste, but nothing too overwhelming. Something you could share with the missus, and would be great to have in the fridge for something light-tasting on a hot summer's day.
I paid $16.99 for a 4-pack from Dan Murphy's.

Now to get into the rest of the Sunday Sesh.

On Cricket
It would be safe to say that after the last Ashes debacle, and the selection problems the Aussie cricket team has had, I didn't hold out much hope for too  much change. However, the Argus review has made a number of suggestions and recommendations that I think will give us some hope for the future. I don't believe for a second that the people who have been in charge of the game didn't have its best interests at heart. I do think though that some of those officials have been entrenched in the same positions for such a long time that they've failed to understand what CA has needed to move us forward. I think we have been trying for too long to find the next Shane Warne and Glenn McGrath, and that has stifled any potential new players from wearing the baggy green. I could go on about the state of Australian cricket for the rest of this post, but my chief hope for this coming summer is that during this tour of Sri Lanka a few of the younger guys get their chance to show what they can do, and have the selectors allow them to stick around long enough to mentor them into some lethal strike bowlers. Changing the team too much never works no matter what sport you play.
On a high note, it's great to see some of those new faces standing up and being counted in the first test in Sri Lanka to give Michael Clarke his first official test win as captain. Nathan Lyon stepped up with a first-innings bowling haul of 5-34, and Ryan Harris helped us close out the match in the second innings.
Also, this summer, we play host to the Kiwis, so it should be a good one. I love seeing our boys beat our brothers from across the ditch.

On NRL
Today marks the last ordinary fixture game at home for Brisbane legend Darren Lockyer. He'll be missed at all levels of the game, but I am guessing more than a few of the younger crop of five-eighths will be kind-of glad to see him go - they might now get a chance at rep level, though they'll be mighty big boots to fill.

On the state of my internet
I was extremely excited about getting our new wi-fi home network set up yesterday. We've been struggling through using mobile internet for over six months, which is great - when you can get on. Instead of sitting on my deck, drinking my beer and blogging using my new internet, I am sitting beside the modem, plugged in, with my beer sitting on the tv cabinet (wifey's nana-napping, so what she doesn't know won't hurt her!) I am searching for a way to make this damn thing go faster than dial-up without the need for cables, but I'm a little over it at the moment. I think I'll try again after I've finished my beer and half-way through my second. That way I'll be too mellow to throw the modem and/or the laptop when it's still not working.

And finally, on the weather, which is the main reason I decided to start my drinking early this year. It's a beautiful day up here on the range, though it started off a little chilly. Perfect for Sunday Sesh on the deck, which I am heading off to enjoy now.

Til next Sunday's Sesh, Happy Father's Day, and

Cheers!