The last time I posted on the blog was about the huge news of my career change.
That was way back in August last year. I know, so far away now.
I've really been meaning to get back on and do some random posts, but the truth is we've been so busy getting the house renovations finished, then getting it on the market and keeping it clean and tidy, and sorting out work stuff, and moving stuff......
Life just got in the way. As usual.
So anyway, this is just a catch up post to let you know I have survived the big move out west, and have so far survived the increase in temperatures. We've gotten through Christmas and New Year relatively unscathed, which is always a miracle, and now we're throwing ourselves into life in a small town and all that offers.
For me, that means I've just come off of a self-imposed break from all things writing. I've set myself a couple of goals I think will be attainable this year, and I'm slowly working my way into a routine to achieve them.
These first 3-6 months I'll spend writing in the mornings, as they seem to be the quietest times (and the coolest) here, and then researching in the afternoons. I have 3 projects I'm working on, and whichever one comes out on top after that time will be the one I focus on for the final half of this year.
I don't like making resolutions at New Year, which is the reason I gave myself the extra week holiday. I don't like to start anything on the 1st of January, because I'm notoriously bad at keeping to it if it feels like a resolution.
The main thing for me over the next few months will be to get settled into a writing routine I can manage, and then work out how to up the ante to get more words out, and then think about getting something published.
The other thing I want to concentrate on is getting back to a regular blogging schedule. Don't hold your breath for the first couple of months though, as I'm trying to come up with things to actually blog about.
On a different tangent though, I'm really looking forward to having a go at brewing my own beer. Wifey bought me a Coopers home brew kit for Christmas, so I'm looking forward to seeing how I go. I'll certainly keep you posted in that regard.
And I'll be keeping you posted on the word count of my WIPs now, via a wordcount widget which should appear very shortly.
Showing posts with label Random Thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Random Thoughts. Show all posts
Wednesday, 9 January 2013
Sunday, 9 October 2011
Sunday Sesh #6 - Matilda Bay Fat Yak
Today's Sunday Sesh is brought to you by Matilda Bay's Fat Yak, an American-style pale ale. Matilda Bay is currently one of my favourite breweries, bringing you crackers such as Beez Neez honey-infused lager, Dogbolter Dark Lager, and Big Helga, a Munich-style, Oktoberfest-inspired dry lager.
As you can see, it's a nice golden colour - darker than your usual run-of-the-mill pale ale. Smells crisp, and it's a refreshing drink, especially after a day working on the house. A great pub beer when it's on tap (it's my beer of choice when we go out), and great with a counter meal. I always try to have some of this in the fridge (if not, I normally have some in stock in the cupboard).
A question to start off the session today - are Wifey and I the only two people in Oz who don't give a toss about the outcome of Bathurst? Sorry Brocky and Dick Johnson (yeh, I know who they are) but Ford v Holden? Meh! Even the fact that I could plant myself in front of the telly with an esky full of beer couldn't make me sit through a car race.
If I wanted to see motor-enhanced action, I'd just sit at any of the main roads in town on a Friday or Saturday night, and watch the heroes dragging each other off at the lights. Come to think of it, I can just watch out my bedroom window at the clowns racing down my street, leaving their tyre-rubber on the corner up the road.
Or I could just get out the scalextric set, and drive the cars myself.
So if we haven't been watching the Big Race, what have we been up to? This weekend is the first we've had in awhile that was free of visitors and commitments, so we decided to work on the house. Wifey has been doing the yard work, and I've been doing bits and pieces of painting and prep-work for more renos. Wifey even got excited and started knocking down the brick back steps in readiness for the new deck. Three hours later and she's only half-way done.
We've also been looking at open houses, as we're hoping to get our house on the market by Jan/Feb, and buy our second house. We've decided on another renovator, but we're hoping to buy up into a better area, so we're looking for a "worst house in the best street" kind of thing. It's been awhile since we've really been looking, but it's nice to know that the real estate jargon hasn't changed.
"Original condition" means nothing has been done on it since it was built - this, funnily enough, is what we're after. Although there is a huge difference between a house that's been looked after, and one that's falling down around itself.
"Entertaining area" is a pretty ambiguous one - a few pavers out the back does not an entertaining area make. Neither does a bit of cement that used to be the old outdoor laundry.
"Lush gardens" usually means overgrown and unwieldy, meaning a complete overhaul.
"Newly renovated" means some stuff has been done to it in the last ten years. Usually badly.
After having a look around this weekend, we've settled on a few areas we want to concentrate on, and know what we definitely don't want. Finding it will be the problem, but we're hoping that starting early will mean we have a better chance. We're also using it as a chance to narrow the field of agents we think we might use. So far, we've been pleasantly surprised and haven't had too many hard-sellers. They tend to leave you alone when you tell them you're currently renovating and just keeping an eye on the market.
There's just over three weeks to go before Nano starts, and apart from cleaning the study last weekend in readiness, I've also been doing some plotting and characterisation on my chosen Nano idea. After working on it for the past week, I've come to realise that I seem to have an obsession with death. It shouldn't have come as too much of a surprise, since I do work in taxes, but I didn't realise how obsessed I was until I looked back over a few of my other ideas that have been percolating in my brain.
In the process of cleaning the study, I also organised my notes and paperwork, and no less than five of my WIP/ideas have a whiff of death about them. Some of them more than others, but it's there. I'm not sure why entirely, although when you kill a character off, that's a pretty good plot point. It's also a great way to get rid of a character you thought was alright when you started, but they turned into a whiney, self-obsessed pain in the ass. The story is not all about them but they take it over, so you know, as God, I get to drive them off a cliff, or get some horrible disease. Or I can just make them disappear - you really shouldn't mess with someone who knows some badass characters......
It's time for another Fat Yak methinks. And to see how the Wallabies went against the Springboks. Rugby isn't something I normally watch, but if we make the final, I'll make sure I support them with a beer or three in front of the telly. Much better than watching cars go around a track all day.
until next Sunday's Sesh,
Cheers!
As you can see, it's a nice golden colour - darker than your usual run-of-the-mill pale ale. Smells crisp, and it's a refreshing drink, especially after a day working on the house. A great pub beer when it's on tap (it's my beer of choice when we go out), and great with a counter meal. I always try to have some of this in the fridge (if not, I normally have some in stock in the cupboard).
A question to start off the session today - are Wifey and I the only two people in Oz who don't give a toss about the outcome of Bathurst? Sorry Brocky and Dick Johnson (yeh, I know who they are) but Ford v Holden? Meh! Even the fact that I could plant myself in front of the telly with an esky full of beer couldn't make me sit through a car race.
If I wanted to see motor-enhanced action, I'd just sit at any of the main roads in town on a Friday or Saturday night, and watch the heroes dragging each other off at the lights. Come to think of it, I can just watch out my bedroom window at the clowns racing down my street, leaving their tyre-rubber on the corner up the road.
Or I could just get out the scalextric set, and drive the cars myself.
So if we haven't been watching the Big Race, what have we been up to? This weekend is the first we've had in awhile that was free of visitors and commitments, so we decided to work on the house. Wifey has been doing the yard work, and I've been doing bits and pieces of painting and prep-work for more renos. Wifey even got excited and started knocking down the brick back steps in readiness for the new deck. Three hours later and she's only half-way done.
We've also been looking at open houses, as we're hoping to get our house on the market by Jan/Feb, and buy our second house. We've decided on another renovator, but we're hoping to buy up into a better area, so we're looking for a "worst house in the best street" kind of thing. It's been awhile since we've really been looking, but it's nice to know that the real estate jargon hasn't changed.
"Original condition" means nothing has been done on it since it was built - this, funnily enough, is what we're after. Although there is a huge difference between a house that's been looked after, and one that's falling down around itself.
"Entertaining area" is a pretty ambiguous one - a few pavers out the back does not an entertaining area make. Neither does a bit of cement that used to be the old outdoor laundry.
"Lush gardens" usually means overgrown and unwieldy, meaning a complete overhaul.
"Newly renovated" means some stuff has been done to it in the last ten years. Usually badly.
After having a look around this weekend, we've settled on a few areas we want to concentrate on, and know what we definitely don't want. Finding it will be the problem, but we're hoping that starting early will mean we have a better chance. We're also using it as a chance to narrow the field of agents we think we might use. So far, we've been pleasantly surprised and haven't had too many hard-sellers. They tend to leave you alone when you tell them you're currently renovating and just keeping an eye on the market.
There's just over three weeks to go before Nano starts, and apart from cleaning the study last weekend in readiness, I've also been doing some plotting and characterisation on my chosen Nano idea. After working on it for the past week, I've come to realise that I seem to have an obsession with death. It shouldn't have come as too much of a surprise, since I do work in taxes, but I didn't realise how obsessed I was until I looked back over a few of my other ideas that have been percolating in my brain.
In the process of cleaning the study, I also organised my notes and paperwork, and no less than five of my WIP/ideas have a whiff of death about them. Some of them more than others, but it's there. I'm not sure why entirely, although when you kill a character off, that's a pretty good plot point. It's also a great way to get rid of a character you thought was alright when you started, but they turned into a whiney, self-obsessed pain in the ass. The story is not all about them but they take it over, so you know, as God, I get to drive them off a cliff, or get some horrible disease. Or I can just make them disappear - you really shouldn't mess with someone who knows some badass characters......
It's time for another Fat Yak methinks. And to see how the Wallabies went against the Springboks. Rugby isn't something I normally watch, but if we make the final, I'll make sure I support them with a beer or three in front of the telly. Much better than watching cars go around a track all day.
until next Sunday's Sesh,
Cheers!
Sunday, 18 September 2011
Sunday Sesh #3 - Mildura Desert Premium
Today's Sunday Sesh is a short one. We've had a huge weekend up on the range with the Carnival of Flowers kicking off and entertaining visitors.
Today's brew is Mildura Desert Premium, made by the Mildura Brewery in Victoria.
This is a nice lager. I didn't do the usual pour test, preferring to drink this one straight from the bottle. Due in part to the fact that I shared a 6-pack with my brother, who also "Mmmm'd" over this one. When I first tasted this, it reminded me of a brew I had tried awhile ago, but couldn't put my finger on what it was. When the Bro had a swig, he hit the nail on the head - it tastes just like Uncle Neal's home brew - at least, what Bro and I both remember of it.
After thinking on that for a bit, I'm not entirely sure when I would have tasted Uncle Neal's home brew. It may have been one family Christmas, when I may (or may not) have been given a sneaky taste by one of my many Uncles (or, in fact, my father). Or, we may have cracked one illegally (the cousins and I) while hiding in the car shed, or up the cane paddock. I don't think the latter would have happened though, because I am sure I would have remembered the flogging we would have received afterwards, and hence the drinking of the offending beer.
Anyway, drinking this brought back memories of sitting with my Uncles at family get-together's all comparing their home brews and discussing the cricket. Wonderful stuff when a drink can evoke memories, and for anyone who remembers Uncle Neals' home brew, give this one a try.
We had it with Bro's spag bog, and it went down a treat. With a price tag of $16.99 a 6-pack though, it might be one for the specials shelf.
Little bit of a rant to finish things off today. Part of the reason this post is late is because I've been trying to sort out the new internet connection. Apparently, downloading a movie to a t-box stuffs everything up. We won't be trying that one again for awhile. And yet again, I am sitting near the tv cabinet with the laptop plugged in to the modem just to get a connection that works. I'm hoping that after all the swearing and threatening I have done over the past couple of days, the t-box, modem and wi-fi will play nice and get back to doing what I pay it to do. How the hell am I going to procrastinate without a proper internet connection?
Lastly, I read in the paper today that the State Government is looking at the distribution of public holidays. About time I say. The more public holidays we have, the less reason we'll have to take a sickie. And they should look at spreading them out a bit more too. There's too many in the first half of the year. But instead of re-distributing them, just add a couple more for the end of the year.
Number one on my list would be an Oktoberfest holiday in October. We've got plenty of German immigrants, and I think that would be a perfect way for us to help them keep connected to their culture. November could have the first day of the first cricket test as a public holiday. I'm sure there's many more reasons in the second half of the year to introduce a new public holiday but these would be my top two.
Before I go - how about Darren Lockyer. What a cracker of a match. My tip - a Broncos/Storm grand final.
until next Sunday,
Cheers!
As always, I value your opinion. Let me know what you think of the beer I've reviewed, and I'm open to requests. Also, any other ideas on new public holidays for the second half of the year?
Today's brew is Mildura Desert Premium, made by the Mildura Brewery in Victoria.
 |
| Pic courtesy Mildura Brewery website |
This is a nice lager. I didn't do the usual pour test, preferring to drink this one straight from the bottle. Due in part to the fact that I shared a 6-pack with my brother, who also "Mmmm'd" over this one. When I first tasted this, it reminded me of a brew I had tried awhile ago, but couldn't put my finger on what it was. When the Bro had a swig, he hit the nail on the head - it tastes just like Uncle Neal's home brew - at least, what Bro and I both remember of it.
After thinking on that for a bit, I'm not entirely sure when I would have tasted Uncle Neal's home brew. It may have been one family Christmas, when I may (or may not) have been given a sneaky taste by one of my many Uncles (or, in fact, my father). Or, we may have cracked one illegally (the cousins and I) while hiding in the car shed, or up the cane paddock. I don't think the latter would have happened though, because I am sure I would have remembered the flogging we would have received afterwards, and hence the drinking of the offending beer.
Anyway, drinking this brought back memories of sitting with my Uncles at family get-together's all comparing their home brews and discussing the cricket. Wonderful stuff when a drink can evoke memories, and for anyone who remembers Uncle Neals' home brew, give this one a try.
We had it with Bro's spag bog, and it went down a treat. With a price tag of $16.99 a 6-pack though, it might be one for the specials shelf.
Little bit of a rant to finish things off today. Part of the reason this post is late is because I've been trying to sort out the new internet connection. Apparently, downloading a movie to a t-box stuffs everything up. We won't be trying that one again for awhile. And yet again, I am sitting near the tv cabinet with the laptop plugged in to the modem just to get a connection that works. I'm hoping that after all the swearing and threatening I have done over the past couple of days, the t-box, modem and wi-fi will play nice and get back to doing what I pay it to do. How the hell am I going to procrastinate without a proper internet connection?
Lastly, I read in the paper today that the State Government is looking at the distribution of public holidays. About time I say. The more public holidays we have, the less reason we'll have to take a sickie. And they should look at spreading them out a bit more too. There's too many in the first half of the year. But instead of re-distributing them, just add a couple more for the end of the year.
Number one on my list would be an Oktoberfest holiday in October. We've got plenty of German immigrants, and I think that would be a perfect way for us to help them keep connected to their culture. November could have the first day of the first cricket test as a public holiday. I'm sure there's many more reasons in the second half of the year to introduce a new public holiday but these would be my top two.
Before I go - how about Darren Lockyer. What a cracker of a match. My tip - a Broncos/Storm grand final.
until next Sunday,
Cheers!
As always, I value your opinion. Let me know what you think of the beer I've reviewed, and I'm open to requests. Also, any other ideas on new public holidays for the second half of the year?
Monday, 29 August 2011
Fighting my way through a perfume haze.
One of my pet peeves is people who smell bad. I'm not a snob about this but you know, deodorant is something that not all people seem to have the hang of. And with a nose as sensitive as mine, it's worse. If anything is worse than bad-smelling people it's people who bathe in their au de perfum of choice so you can virtually see their scent trailing behind them as they walk past. The first one makes me gag, and the second one makes me sneeze and get an immediate perfume-headache (kind of like a brain-freeze headache, but without the ice-cream). I hate gagging as much as I hate sneezing.
So imagine my horror when I discovered that the smell I was turning my nose up at a few days ago was my own. I was mortified. I wanted to shower right then and there to scrub clean my stinking pit pores, only I was at work, and apart from being a slightly crazy thing to do in my lunch hour, may have made my bosses think twice about my future at their firm. I mean, I'm already a writer. They don't need any more reasons to prove that I'm mentally unhinged.
After discovering the noxious gases I had been producing from my pits, I decided I'd try out a different deodorant. Oh what a pain in the rear that proved to be. Standing in the personal hygiene aisle of the supermarket for longer than five minutes makes you look like you can't read, or you're a moron, or it's the first time you've ever thought about buying deodorant. Of course, I'm none of those, but I still felt out of my depth.
Let's look at the options. You have spray anti-perspirants and deodorants, roll-ons, body sprays and sticks. There's products that promise to not stain your white clothes, and to not stain your black clothes. Products that smell and some that are odourless (the point here???). They promise to get you the guy (or the girl, depending what you're into), and to keep you dry no matter how hot and sweaty you get.
And there's a distinct difference between mens and womens when it comes to labelling. Mens tend to say things like "energetic fragrance" and "responds to increases in adrenalin". They're called "Africa" and "V8" and "Brut".
Womens, on the other hand, say things like "seductive" and "sensual", and ooh "mishievous". They're called things like "Shiny" and "Illusions" and (sharp intake of breath) "Tease".
Do they tell you what they actually smell like though? Not bloody likely! What the hell does "energetic" smell like anyway? And I can guarantee you that what smells "sensual" to me is not the same as what smells "sensual" to someone else.
For the love of all that is good and right, can we at least get some truth in advertising. Wearing deodorant won't get me the girl - particularly the type of girl in a certain product's ads (not that I want another girl - I already have one). Only sixteen-year-olds believe that. And no matter what they say, it won't last for more than a couple of hours, even in an air-conditioned office. I know advertising plays on our emotions to get us to buy things, but dammit, I'm over trying to decipher some of those ads. Will I smell fresh and oceany? Show me a beach. Will I smell smokey and woody? Show me a log cabin. I get shit like that. That stuff is easy to decipher.
But I have another problem trying to choose deodorants. Those who know me well know that I am definitely not feminine. I don't do nail polish or make-up or dresses. The only thing I put on my face is moisturiser, and even then it's only when I get sunburnt or my skin feels dry. Having said that, I'm still a girl, and I like being a girl. Just, you know, not too much of a girl.
I don't want to smell like a bunch of flowers, a fruit bowl, a cinnamon stick, or a vanilla pod. And I damn-well don't want to smell like I've just rolled in pine needles, or I've just walked through smoke. I don't want to smell overly "woman" or overly "man". And it seems like there's no inbetween in there. Even the "sports" deodorants are skewed one way or the other.
I just want to hide my pong without the cover-up smell being offensive to me and everyone around me. And I don't want to smell like a girl. And, I don't want to smell like a man. Is that too much to ask?
Side note: At the time of posting, I still have not found a deodorant that I like. Any suggestions are much-appreciated. If you do make a suggestion for something I might like, please, oh please, tell me exactly what it is I will smell like if I use it!
So imagine my horror when I discovered that the smell I was turning my nose up at a few days ago was my own. I was mortified. I wanted to shower right then and there to scrub clean my stinking pit pores, only I was at work, and apart from being a slightly crazy thing to do in my lunch hour, may have made my bosses think twice about my future at their firm. I mean, I'm already a writer. They don't need any more reasons to prove that I'm mentally unhinged.
After discovering the noxious gases I had been producing from my pits, I decided I'd try out a different deodorant. Oh what a pain in the rear that proved to be. Standing in the personal hygiene aisle of the supermarket for longer than five minutes makes you look like you can't read, or you're a moron, or it's the first time you've ever thought about buying deodorant. Of course, I'm none of those, but I still felt out of my depth.
Let's look at the options. You have spray anti-perspirants and deodorants, roll-ons, body sprays and sticks. There's products that promise to not stain your white clothes, and to not stain your black clothes. Products that smell and some that are odourless (the point here???). They promise to get you the guy (or the girl, depending what you're into), and to keep you dry no matter how hot and sweaty you get.
And there's a distinct difference between mens and womens when it comes to labelling. Mens tend to say things like "energetic fragrance" and "responds to increases in adrenalin". They're called "Africa" and "V8" and "Brut".
Womens, on the other hand, say things like "seductive" and "sensual", and ooh "mishievous". They're called things like "Shiny" and "Illusions" and (sharp intake of breath) "Tease".
Do they tell you what they actually smell like though? Not bloody likely! What the hell does "energetic" smell like anyway? And I can guarantee you that what smells "sensual" to me is not the same as what smells "sensual" to someone else.
For the love of all that is good and right, can we at least get some truth in advertising. Wearing deodorant won't get me the girl - particularly the type of girl in a certain product's ads (not that I want another girl - I already have one). Only sixteen-year-olds believe that. And no matter what they say, it won't last for more than a couple of hours, even in an air-conditioned office. I know advertising plays on our emotions to get us to buy things, but dammit, I'm over trying to decipher some of those ads. Will I smell fresh and oceany? Show me a beach. Will I smell smokey and woody? Show me a log cabin. I get shit like that. That stuff is easy to decipher.
But I have another problem trying to choose deodorants. Those who know me well know that I am definitely not feminine. I don't do nail polish or make-up or dresses. The only thing I put on my face is moisturiser, and even then it's only when I get sunburnt or my skin feels dry. Having said that, I'm still a girl, and I like being a girl. Just, you know, not too much of a girl.
I don't want to smell like a bunch of flowers, a fruit bowl, a cinnamon stick, or a vanilla pod. And I damn-well don't want to smell like I've just rolled in pine needles, or I've just walked through smoke. I don't want to smell overly "woman" or overly "man". And it seems like there's no inbetween in there. Even the "sports" deodorants are skewed one way or the other.
I just want to hide my pong without the cover-up smell being offensive to me and everyone around me. And I don't want to smell like a girl. And, I don't want to smell like a man. Is that too much to ask?
Side note: At the time of posting, I still have not found a deodorant that I like. Any suggestions are much-appreciated. If you do make a suggestion for something I might like, please, oh please, tell me exactly what it is I will smell like if I use it!
Saturday, 23 July 2011
Things I could have said: Insults and sledges
Sport can be very highly competitive, especially at the amateur levels. Pushing the boundaries and bending the rules is not uncommon, and players will often go to any lengths to get one up on the opposition. One of the ways to put your opposition off is to get inside their heads, usually by sledging.
Cricket is probably the most famous for on-field sledging and banter, but it's a common occurrence in most sports. Take soccer, for example, which is my sport of choice. I'm a goalkeeper, so I'm no stranger to a bit of "friendly" banter with opposition strikers. I've had some great rivalries over the years and I'd like to think I've given as good as I've gotten with regards to insults and sledges coming my way. Most of the time, it's just a friendly comment after a save. Something to the effect of "you've gotta do better than that to get it past me." I have also been known, after saving a penalty in a grand final shoot out, to take the ball back, give it to the striker who just missed and tell them to try again. Nothing too outlandish, but it does the job.
I bring this up because I've just finished playing a soccer game, in which I was supposedly sledged. I didn't hear the actual comment but one of my team-mates did. I'm actually pretty insulted that it wasn't something better. I'm also a little upset that I didn't hear it, as I wasn't given a right of reply. Rule Number One in sledging - make sure your intended target actually hears what you say. Otherwise, it really is pointless.
What was the alleged sledge? "How old is your wife?" Now, for those of you who are new here, I'm an out and proud lesbian, and I do have a wife (though not legally of course). This comment, I am guessing, was an attempt to use the gay = bad thing. Though I'd be more offended if she'd meant that my wife was old enough to be my grandmother, but since I know this player doesn't even know my wife, that's probably not the case. And so this brings me to the second rule of sledging - make sure it's actually insulting enough to get a reaction. Otherwise, again, pretty pointless.
The Third Rule of sledging is really a no-brainer - make sure you can back up your words with actions. If you go around telling opposition players how bad they are, and your team isn't on top? You look like a bit of an idiot. The team we played is actually pretty good, and we're pretty close when it comes to results, so it's always a tough match when we meet them. They were on the back foot for most of the match tonight though, so it was probably a better time for them to be concentrating on getting their own game right rather than having a go at ours.
Last, but not least, Rule Number Four - keep it relevant. Like I said, I'm a goalkeeper. I had seven goals put past me last week against a different opposition. Surely bringing that up would have had more affect than asking how old my wife is? As a side note, comments about spouses/children/parents are usually a no-go zone. Just ask Marco Materazzi, the Italian defender who was headbutted by Zinedine Zidane in the 2006 World Cup Final after allegedly making a comment about Zidane's wife.
So after careful consideration, and having had plenty of time to think on this, I've come up with a list of five Things I Could Have Said in reply, if I'd actually heard the comment.
"How old is your wife?"
What do you think? What would you reply to that sledge? What's been your favourite or funniest sledge - either to have given or received?
After all of that - how did the match end up? We won 2-0 and jumped into third spot on the ladder. Good job team!
Cricket is probably the most famous for on-field sledging and banter, but it's a common occurrence in most sports. Take soccer, for example, which is my sport of choice. I'm a goalkeeper, so I'm no stranger to a bit of "friendly" banter with opposition strikers. I've had some great rivalries over the years and I'd like to think I've given as good as I've gotten with regards to insults and sledges coming my way. Most of the time, it's just a friendly comment after a save. Something to the effect of "you've gotta do better than that to get it past me." I have also been known, after saving a penalty in a grand final shoot out, to take the ball back, give it to the striker who just missed and tell them to try again. Nothing too outlandish, but it does the job.
I bring this up because I've just finished playing a soccer game, in which I was supposedly sledged. I didn't hear the actual comment but one of my team-mates did. I'm actually pretty insulted that it wasn't something better. I'm also a little upset that I didn't hear it, as I wasn't given a right of reply. Rule Number One in sledging - make sure your intended target actually hears what you say. Otherwise, it really is pointless.
What was the alleged sledge? "How old is your wife?" Now, for those of you who are new here, I'm an out and proud lesbian, and I do have a wife (though not legally of course). This comment, I am guessing, was an attempt to use the gay = bad thing. Though I'd be more offended if she'd meant that my wife was old enough to be my grandmother, but since I know this player doesn't even know my wife, that's probably not the case. And so this brings me to the second rule of sledging - make sure it's actually insulting enough to get a reaction. Otherwise, again, pretty pointless.
The Third Rule of sledging is really a no-brainer - make sure you can back up your words with actions. If you go around telling opposition players how bad they are, and your team isn't on top? You look like a bit of an idiot. The team we played is actually pretty good, and we're pretty close when it comes to results, so it's always a tough match when we meet them. They were on the back foot for most of the match tonight though, so it was probably a better time for them to be concentrating on getting their own game right rather than having a go at ours.
Last, but not least, Rule Number Four - keep it relevant. Like I said, I'm a goalkeeper. I had seven goals put past me last week against a different opposition. Surely bringing that up would have had more affect than asking how old my wife is? As a side note, comments about spouses/children/parents are usually a no-go zone. Just ask Marco Materazzi, the Italian defender who was headbutted by Zinedine Zidane in the 2006 World Cup Final after allegedly making a comment about Zidane's wife.
So after careful consideration, and having had plenty of time to think on this, I've come up with a list of five Things I Could Have Said in reply, if I'd actually heard the comment.
"How old is your wife?"
- Why? You thinking of trading up?
- How old's your sister again?
- Why? You wanna swap?
- Ask her yourself - she's the one on the Harley
- Which one?
What do you think? What would you reply to that sledge? What's been your favourite or funniest sledge - either to have given or received?
After all of that - how did the match end up? We won 2-0 and jumped into third spot on the ladder. Good job team!
Monday, 18 July 2011
Story time: Noni Hazlehurst reads "Go the F**k to Sleep"
Wednesday, 6 July 2011
Renovation Relaxation
It's so much more functional than before, and we have so much more storage and bench space. In fact, we have so much space to put everything, we're not entirely sure where everything should be going.
To finish it off, we now have to decide on the splash-backs. Tiles or zenolite? White or throw in some colour? Big tiles or little tiles? Stainless steel behind the stove? More decisions! Hopefully we'll have it finished by Christmas....
What do you think? Should we go with tiles or something more fancy? Stay with neutrals or throw in some colour?
Saturday, 25 June 2011
Procrastination #2
I'm not entirely sure how I stumbled on this site - most likely when I was "researching" - but it's a doozy. And because it had me in absolute stitches, laughing out loud like a mad woman when I was trying to be quiet while the kitchen guys were installing my new kitchen, I wanted to share it with you, so you too can enjoy being looked at like you're nuts while laughing hysterically at a computer screen.
Warning: only click on the following link when you have time to procrastinate. You could lose hours on this (hours I say!).
Damn You Autocorrect
What's your favourite? And have you suffered from autocorrect syndrome yourself? Just quietly, my favourites are the ones where the other person tries to pay out the original gaff, but the words don't come out right either, making it one all-round confusing but funny-as-hell conversation. Enjoy!
Warning: only click on the following link when you have time to procrastinate. You could lose hours on this (hours I say!).
Damn You Autocorrect
What's your favourite? And have you suffered from autocorrect syndrome yourself? Just quietly, my favourites are the ones where the other person tries to pay out the original gaff, but the words don't come out right either, making it one all-round confusing but funny-as-hell conversation. Enjoy!
Friday, 10 June 2011
My brain is mush...
So I was going to post on something totally mundane, like how I hate when people who are obviously friends or family or, shock horror, the author posing to be someone else, give 5-star reviews to a book that sucks. And I mean really sucks. But I don't want to whinge today.
Plus, I'm struggling at the moment with my writing, so what better way to sort out my shit than to tell the world about it (or the 5 people who actually follow this blog).
My last blog was on procrastinating, and while I have been doing some more of that over the last week or so, I've actually been so bad that I've been procrastinating on my procrastination. Sitting down to my laptop, opening up my web browser, and then shutting it back down again because I couldn't even be bothered to do any research.
To be honest, I feel like I'm all out of ideas. My brain is so full at the moment, I feel like it's empty. Like I went to bed with stuff in my head, and it all leaked out while I was sleeping.
I've read over all the stuff I've evr started, even going back to stuff I wrote nearly ten years ago - that was really painful to read let me tell you. I mean, I've been avoiding it for so long because I knew it was crap, but man, I had no idea how bad it was! On the flip-side, at least I know I've improved. So, that made me a little happier. But even going over everything I have ever written in order to try to spark some sort of idea, any idea, I still came up blank.
Now, some Well-Meaning People would tell me to suck it up and just write - write something, anything, just to get over this little speed bump, and then once your brain is back in gear, pick something you actually want to be working on again and get stuck in.
Well, Well-Meaning People, I don't mean to be rude, but you suck it up this time, cos I have a better idea. One that is far more fun, at least a little productive (though not necessarily for my writing, but meh), and is oh so destructive.
My wife and I have been slowly renovating our little house, and we have finally come to the point when we get our brand spanking new kitchen. Therefore, the old green and orange shocker needs to go - this weekend. My plan then, to work out my shit, is complete and utter destruction. Well, maybe not complete, but possibly utter. Anyway, this old kitchen needs to go, and I have a sledge-hammer with my name on it. And every time I swing that baby at that old crappy kitchen, I'll be imagining it's one of my neurotic characters who won't do as they're told or those who have fallen blindly into one of my gaping plot holes, never to be seen again. And I'll be cursing my dead-ends and loose-ends, and when I'm finished with them, I'm going to kick my muse's butt good and proper. Skip out on me at short notice, will she!
Then, after the old kitchen is gone and the space in the kitchen is a totally blank canvas, and the decks of my over-taxed brain are cleared, I'll have a break - albeit a very brief one. I'm taking a week's holiday (starting tomorrow), so after the kitchen is in mid-week, I'll sit back down at my laptop, and hopefully coax my muse back with some quiet self-reflection and maybe a little chocolate (she's a sucker for Smarties). As for the characters, well, if they've managed to survive my rampage, then they'll be stronger for it, and I may, may, find a part for them in one of my novels.
Happy long weekend everyone.
Plus, I'm struggling at the moment with my writing, so what better way to sort out my shit than to tell the world about it (or the 5 people who actually follow this blog).
My last blog was on procrastinating, and while I have been doing some more of that over the last week or so, I've actually been so bad that I've been procrastinating on my procrastination. Sitting down to my laptop, opening up my web browser, and then shutting it back down again because I couldn't even be bothered to do any research.
To be honest, I feel like I'm all out of ideas. My brain is so full at the moment, I feel like it's empty. Like I went to bed with stuff in my head, and it all leaked out while I was sleeping.
I've read over all the stuff I've evr started, even going back to stuff I wrote nearly ten years ago - that was really painful to read let me tell you. I mean, I've been avoiding it for so long because I knew it was crap, but man, I had no idea how bad it was! On the flip-side, at least I know I've improved. So, that made me a little happier. But even going over everything I have ever written in order to try to spark some sort of idea, any idea, I still came up blank.
Now, some Well-Meaning People would tell me to suck it up and just write - write something, anything, just to get over this little speed bump, and then once your brain is back in gear, pick something you actually want to be working on again and get stuck in.
Well, Well-Meaning People, I don't mean to be rude, but you suck it up this time, cos I have a better idea. One that is far more fun, at least a little productive (though not necessarily for my writing, but meh), and is oh so destructive.
My wife and I have been slowly renovating our little house, and we have finally come to the point when we get our brand spanking new kitchen. Therefore, the old green and orange shocker needs to go - this weekend. My plan then, to work out my shit, is complete and utter destruction. Well, maybe not complete, but possibly utter. Anyway, this old kitchen needs to go, and I have a sledge-hammer with my name on it. And every time I swing that baby at that old crappy kitchen, I'll be imagining it's one of my neurotic characters who won't do as they're told or those who have fallen blindly into one of my gaping plot holes, never to be seen again. And I'll be cursing my dead-ends and loose-ends, and when I'm finished with them, I'm going to kick my muse's butt good and proper. Skip out on me at short notice, will she!
Then, after the old kitchen is gone and the space in the kitchen is a totally blank canvas, and the decks of my over-taxed brain are cleared, I'll have a break - albeit a very brief one. I'm taking a week's holiday (starting tomorrow), so after the kitchen is in mid-week, I'll sit back down at my laptop, and hopefully coax my muse back with some quiet self-reflection and maybe a little chocolate (she's a sucker for Smarties). As for the characters, well, if they've managed to survive my rampage, then they'll be stronger for it, and I may, may, find a part for them in one of my novels.
Happy long weekend everyone.
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Procrastination: Things I do to avoid writing #1
What I tell my wife - "I'm plot-planning" or "I'm doing some characterisation"
What I'm actually doing - hitting the Seventh Sanctum site and other random generators, generating names for taverns, pirate ships and magical artifacts.
Actually, there are some really cool generators on there that have turned out some great things I've modified to fit some of my plots and characters. It's so easy to lose time randomly generating names and things, and also great fun. Try it for yourself - but only when you have time to procrastinate.
I went one whole step better today in my procrastination, and made my own manual random generator. I printed out a whole bunch of different character traits on paper, cut them out, folded them up and put them in a shoe box. The idea is that I come up with a character name (probably from an online generator or randomly picking a page in my baby name book), and then pick three traits for my new character and go from there. I have a couple of wild cards in the box called "Specials". If I get that trait, I get to pick from the Special Traits box, which includes such things as has super powers, has an addiction, is famous, is pregnant, is dead among others. I'll add to it as I come up with more interesting things with which to terrorise my unsuspecting characters with.
So today I was randomly generating some test characters, just to grease the wheels, and came up with the following:
What I'm actually doing - hitting the Seventh Sanctum site and other random generators, generating names for taverns, pirate ships and magical artifacts.
Actually, there are some really cool generators on there that have turned out some great things I've modified to fit some of my plots and characters. It's so easy to lose time randomly generating names and things, and also great fun. Try it for yourself - but only when you have time to procrastinate.
I went one whole step better today in my procrastination, and made my own manual random generator. I printed out a whole bunch of different character traits on paper, cut them out, folded them up and put them in a shoe box. The idea is that I come up with a character name (probably from an online generator or randomly picking a page in my baby name book), and then pick three traits for my new character and go from there. I have a couple of wild cards in the box called "Specials". If I get that trait, I get to pick from the Special Traits box, which includes such things as has super powers, has an addiction, is famous, is pregnant, is dead among others. I'll add to it as I come up with more interesting things with which to terrorise my unsuspecting characters with.
So today I was randomly generating some test characters, just to grease the wheels, and came up with the following:
- Jenny, accountant, 36 - innocent, attentive, (special) has super powers - sounds like she works for H&R Block
- Henry, waiter, 22 - determined, impolite, (special) gay - like most of the waiters I've encountered
- Manuel, truck driver, 46 - mischievous, imaginative, (special) dead - being mischievous and imaginative may be the reason he ended up dead
- Clementine, student, 16 - decisive, sullen, (special) engaged - teenagers, huh?
- Delores, star ship captain, 48 - charming, restless, (special) invisible - great to spy on your crew and make sure no-one mutinies
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